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Honeymoon With B Troop

My baby, she's crazy, she's lazy
So she's always bummin' around
Girls in France don't stand a chance
'Cos I've always got my baby around
 
So, don't touch her
Oh, it's so fine, and you know what's mine is mine
 
At night we, sleep tight we
Stay close together 'cos the temperature's down
But baby, says maybe
Each time I try to get my fingers around
 
Please don't touch her
 
Sittin' with a tentpole, what a bloody jamboree
Listen to our motto, be prepared for ecstasy
Here comes the bride
 
My baby, goes topless
And brings her beauty to a bottomless day
She's bathing, al fresco
And all her mystery is there on display
 
So, don't get too close
Oh she's so fine, and you know what's mine is mine
 
Ooh it's a drag when you're hitched to a dream
And the boys in the gang think she's part of the scenery
You're never alone and the tension is painful to see
 
One night I, crept in and,
Got on my knees and tried to make her my wife
One reef knot, two grannies
And we were bound to stay together for life
 
Now we'd like to....
 

Good Morning Judge

Well, good morning, judge, how are you today?
I'm in trouble, please put me away
A pretty thing took a shine to me
I couldn't stop her so I let it be
 
I couldn't stop her so I let it be
I couldn't stop her so I let it be
I couldn't stop her so I let it be
 
He didn't do it
He wasn't there
He didn't want it
He wouldn't dare
 
Well, good morning, judge, yes, I'm back again
I'm in trouble, so it's back to the pen
I found a car but I couldn't pay
I fell in love and I drove it away
 
I fell in love and I drove it away
I fell in love and I drove it away
I fell in love and I drove it away
 
He didn't do it
He wasn't there
He didn't want it
He wouldn't dare
 
I didn't do it
I wasn't there
I didn't want it
I wouldn't dare
 
Alcatraz is like a home sweet home
I'm so wanted and I'm never alone
San Quentin is the place to be
I'm so happy I don't wanna be free
 
So happy I don't wanna be free
So happy I don't wanna be free
So happy I don't wanna be free
 

You've Got a Cold

Your nose is running
And your eyes are red
Your head is aching
You'd be better in bed
From the bottom of your fever
To the throbbing in your toes
You've got a cold
You've got a cold
 
You're searching madly
To find a cure
But the mercury's rising
To a hundred and four
You've got a beauty, a bad self
The mother of them all
You've got a cold
You've got a cold
 
Ain't no use in fighting it
Get into bed and try to sweat it out
 
Hot toddies won't help you
Warm blankets won't sweat it out
Inhalants just choke you
Hot flushes will tell you
Anyway you've got it
Ain't no doubt about it
Nothing new about
You can scream and shout it
 
Hot toddies won't help you
Warm blankets won't sweat it out
Inhalants just choke you
Hot flushes will tell you
Anyway you've got it
Ain't no doubt about it
Nothing new about
You can't fight it
 
Foreign bodies in your Kleenex
You've got no taste at all
While your system is dying
The bugs are having a ball
You've got a beauty, a bad self
The mother of them all
You've got a cold
You've got a cold
 

Hot To Trot

She had a shake like a belly dancer
and a body like a tiger tiger (uh huh, uh huh)
She was looking at me
 
Now you know that I ain't no dancer
But there's gotta be a way to meet her
So I just walked up to her and said
Are you hot to trot?
 
Well I knew I was looking cool
Pretty sharp like a razor razor (uh huh, uh huh)
She was smiling at me
 
So I said if you got the notion
We could take a little trip to the ocean
She said that'll be OK
'Cause I'm hot to trot
 
We were having a ball by the water
Talking about life and philosophizing (uh huh, uh huh)
She was really talking to me
 
She said I can't understand why you gotta hustle
Struttin' and posin' and flexin' muscle
So I said, well that's easy baby
I'm hot to trot
 

Marriage Bureau Rendezvous

Well I've been looking after number one for too long
And it seemed that love was passing me by
So I thought I better do something about it
And that's why I'm sitting here looking cross the table at you
That's why I'm sitting here looking cross the table at you
 
Well a lonely man needs a marriage bureau
Where they sit you right down and you fill in a form
Would you like a blonde or a black or a blue rinse
Do you like 'em small, love 'em slim long and tall
Do you like 'em small, love 'em slim long and tall
Oh no, too many questions
 
I'm looking for a girl like momma used to be
She's cooking up a dream,
She's baking ecstasy
Won't it be fine when I find her
 
Would I like to take her to a movie or the theater
Would I pick her up at home or would I like to meet her
Somewhere we could take a good look at each other
Smile and say hello or walk away
Smile and say hello or walk away
 
So I'm squeaky clean in and out of the bath
I never shaved so close before
I'm gonna put on a tie
I'm gonna shine up my shoes
I'm gonna slick back my hair
I've got nothing to lose
Oh, I'll be scenting so good
Like I'm drowning in a sea of cologne
 
(Hey) do you know you remind me of someone
(Ooh) but I'm here making eyes at you
And I think we're gonna say goodbye to the bureau
Close the files, turn the page, start anew
Close the files, turn the page, start anew
 

I Bought A Flat Guitar Tutor

I bought a flat
Diminished responsibility
You're the ninth person to see
To be suspended in a seventh
Major catastrophe
It's a minor point but gee
Augmented by the sharpness of your
See what I'm going through
Ay to be with you
In a flat by the sea
 

Modern Man Blues

I'm tired Lord and I'm drawn
And I'm chilled right to the bone
I crawled home from my work
And this note said she was gone
Said your dinner's in the cat
And your love is out the door
I'm going back to my momma
And I don't want you no more, no more
She said she don't want me no more
She's gone back to her momma
Said she's never never coming back no more
 
Now a man can take so much
And only heaven knows his limit
But a nagging angry woman
Digs a hole and puts him in it
A sophisticated man
Needs a little something on the side
So what you don't get at home
You've gotta get outside, hey
 
She's gone
I'm spending all of my money
She's gone, gone, gone
And I can swing with my honey
She's gone
I'm so glad my woman's gone
 
Now time goes marching on
And it won't wait for you
You've gotta take it when it's offered
And get it when it's due
Now a man can move much faster
Without a millstone around his neck
So if you get the chance to lose it
You've gotta drop it and run like heck, hey
 
She's gone
I'm spending all of my money
She's gone, gone, gone
And I can swing with my honey
She's gone
I'm so glad my woman's gone
 
She's gone
I'm spending all of my money
She's gone, gone, gone
And I can swing with my honey
She's gone
I'm so glad my woman's gone
 

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